There was a time when the rapists were unknown to the victims. Victim didn’t know the rapist and the upcoming danger before and they were just like the helpless deer for the tigers prey in the remote forest. These things were also published by the newspapers that she was just a victim of an accident. Such incidents are still happening and the news is served in the same way. But the news of another type of rape has been coming in the media lately and that is ‘Date rape’. There were two date rapes back to back in the elite area of Dhaka. These two incidents are surprisingly very similar. Precisely in both cases, victims knew the rapists. They were pretty close to each other. They had intimate relationships too. To response to their relation, they got raped. Such rape in the West is called ‘Date rape’.
The conservative people are raising questions about regime, prohibition and also complaining the social incoherence. People, who are extra influenced, also point fingers on dress, customs and characteristics of the rape victims. Some people are calling them lecherous. On the other hand, one group of people is very sensitive about any rape cases. According to them nobody should say anything negative about the victims because it reduces the rapists’ fault and the case value. However, a victim is solely responsible for his own act. Because not everybody does rape.
The people who rape have specific features. There is a way to identify them and it is very important whenever we choose our partners. Just like the social status, it is necessary to see the aspect of humanity. No human can hide his thoughts. It will be expressed by his speeches, words selection and behavior. From these one can have an idea about the person. As we came out of Victorian age, it is natural between male and female to be fallen in love. This age is making people closer by the help of mobile, Facebook and Whats app. The more girls will be self-dependent, the more they will be prompt to choose their partners. This is not my statement. Date rape is seen more in the west. The Victorian age in the West has long ended. Our country is undergoing its transition. They have some activities to deal with Date Rape. Likewise, in this post, I am writing some parts of Me Ra Kohs post of awareness rising which was published in Bable.com. She has done some work on sexual assault. She has written the book called Beauty restored; Finding life and hope after Date rape. There are thirteen features of the sadistic boyfriend in that book.
Find these thirteen features in sadistic partner:-
– Angry and aggressive attitude.
– Bad/ short tempered.
– Extremely jealous and possessive.
– Exceeds the personal limitations frequently such as checking the call list, checking the messages.
– Neglects the expectations of the partner.
– Tendency to blame the partner repeatedly.
– Intolerant to hear ‘No’ from his partner or becomes angryby refusal.
– Tries to be close in the parties and to distinguish from known friends.
– Sought to stay alone during the very first meet.
– Urges to meet in unsuitable time.
– Behaves immaturely, feels less sympathy towards others and less social responsibilities.
– Talking less about his personal matters but asks more about the personal affairs of the girl.
– So-called/ typical patriarchal and conservative.
Me Ra Koh has highlighted these features in front of the teenagers at different times. Many victims have admitted that they would not have faced Date rape if they had known these traits before.
Love believes in human salvation. That’s why, this is our effort for all the girls to let them love without fear.